Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
