What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
