So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
