never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
