Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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