Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I can text with my tongue
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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