Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
