She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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