cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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