so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
