You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
