I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
