you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
