You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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