You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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