they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
