Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
