I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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