just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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