You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
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does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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