I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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