She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
