You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
