Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am naked and annoyed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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