Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
