nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's blow job season.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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