I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was born a porn star she said
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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