maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
