Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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