I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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