the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
