I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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