Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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