I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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