I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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