well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize