So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I supernannyed him into submission
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
