Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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