Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize