just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
