she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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