Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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