Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
