you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
