Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
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