Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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