i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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