i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
