The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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