I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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