This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
