This dress was meant to end up on your floor
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
