no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
