he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
In America we eat man semen.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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