I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
