so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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