im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
