Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
