Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
