I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
