fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
one two three fourrrrnication!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
