My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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